how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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