handjob tips. give me some.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
