I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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