Quick, to the slutcave!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize