Im at strip club and am horny
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we're making bets on your personal life
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
