More tranny stories later!
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
