I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
