i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
