Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
