maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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