Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
