Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
