just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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