OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just high enough for therapy.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
