i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Your dad touched me again.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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