So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
