The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
