Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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