So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
