Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
