I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
