Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
