Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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