Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
