My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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