We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
