carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
