at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
is wine microwaveable?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
