I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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