Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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