It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize
