I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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