he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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