Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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