So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
