Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
