btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
