I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
