U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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