Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
