I need help removing her.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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