Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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