You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
