So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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