Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
