do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
