Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
