I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
