i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
