I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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