What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
