they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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