brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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