he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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