Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
